Southie Speed Dating: Where I Asked ‘So, What Do You Do?’ 47 Times in an Hour

I was two cocktails deep at the hotel bar in sunny, perfect Hawai’i when I got the text from my friend in Southie. It was a link for speed dating and said“Do you want to go and see what we see?”

It might've been the tequila soda talking, but I said, “You know what…hell yeah!” I'm learning that in life, we have to take the risk sometimes. What did I have to lose?  I’m working on putting myself out there with guys and this felt like a good opportunity. I also wanted blog content to share with my readers, so here we go!

I went onto EventBrite, bought a $35 dollar ticket that included a drink ticket and access to the event. I invited one of my besties, Ashley, and she brought coworkers who were a delight. Having my girlfriends there was the highlight, as sharing our opinions and giggling at the end was the best.

Flash forward to Monday night at Castle Island Brewing in Southie. My girlfriends and I had gone to Shybird before for a few cocktails and fries—girl dinner—before heading over. They shuffled us into the back room, gave us name tags and drink tickets, and we were ready to begin! The women got to stay seated the entire time, while the men shuffled around. I’d say there were about 8 women and 12 men, so some of us had a break in between.

The rounds were about 8 minutes, which felt ungodly long with some guys and very short with others. It was emotionally draining to have the same conversation of small talk repeatedly, so I tried to make it authentic and interesting as best I could. After maybe two conversations, the pressure was off, and it was much less nerve wracking.

Let me be honest and as kind as I can be…most of these men were software engineers who were very socially awkward. There were some social guys, but the rest seemed to be uncomfortable having conversations. I got the feeling they struggle on the apps to initiate, so they end up here.

Lots of them asked about me but only really surface level questions like where I’m from, how I ended up here, and if I like it. Yawn…some reported coming to speed dating a lot and never getting any matches (weird!), and others talked about their jobs. One guy asked me if I was engaged…pardon? Oh yeah, I have a ring on my right-hand buddy—not left. Conversations were okay and the night flew by (especially with my frozen rose in hand).

My girl group and I stayed after to have a beer and laugh about the experience. What an adventure. We debriefed our weirdest moments (for me, a guy telling me he’s glad he doesn’t have siblings because he hears they physically abuse each other. Uh what?) and shared our most painful conversations. This is what girlhood is about!

Whew. Back to Hinge! I am so proud of myself for getting out of my comfort zone and going, but I don’t think I’ll be back. It was a fun opportunity and gave us a chance to practice conversational dating but not planning on making it a regular thing.

My advice to you? Go. Don’t knock it until you try it. It’s awkward, a little painful at times, and weird, but who cares! Like I said, good practice for when the perfect guy does come for you.

Happy dating,

Charty

If you're interested in experiencing one of these speed dating events for yourself--check them out in your city!

Here is Boston's Link:

https://www.eventbrite.com/d/ma--boston/speed-dating/