Charty Life Hack #375: The Psychology of Reframing — and Why It Actually Works

Ever have one bad thought ruin your whole day? You wake up, look in the mirror, and see a couple of pimples. Your coffee spills. You’re late. Suddenly, it’s officially the worst day ever.

You’re blasting Creed to feel sorry for yourself, and it’s all downhill from there.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about what it means to reframe a thought—and how doing so can completely shift your mindset—which in turn can change your life. Therapist hat on today, folks!

This is something I see all the time, whether my client is 8 or 18 years old. We’ve all been there—the spiral of negative thinking that starts with one thought, then suddenly feels like quicksand. One bad thought becomes five, and before you know it, you’re stuck in a miserable state of mind that controls your whole day.

(That’s why I find practices like gratitude journaling, mindfulness, or simply talking to a loved one so grounding.)

Let’s break it down—I’m sure we’ve all woken up for work or school on a Monday morning—and thought “This sucks. I am so tired and can’t show up again. When can I retire?” Then we show up defeated and lacking the initiative to be present. Throughout the day, these thoughts pile on top of one another, clouding our vision and making things worse.

What if we flip the thought to look at it through a positive light?

“I am so lucky I’m alive, healthy, and well. How blessed am I to have a job to make money and find purpose.” This will then shift our mindset, our work ethic, and how we show up in our lives.

I’m guilty of the negative spiral too…those 6am workouts, the dinners I definitely don’t want to cook, and overscheduling myself to show up for my people. I find myself saying things like…

“Ugh. I can’t believe I have to travel so much.”

“I can’t wake up again at 5am to work out.”

Then I stop myself and reflect. I can’t show up as a therapist or an athlete from a place of obligation. How can I encourage myself to be better?

How lucky am I to have people who want me to celebrate their milestones?

How lucky am I to get to move my body?

How lucky am I to have a job I truly love?

How lucky am I to have such a full life I don’t feel lonely?

This shift allows me to show up for myself and others from a place of love and gratitude. If I wallowed in my irritated, negative thoughts chances are I’d show up annoyed and not present.

I understand this isn’t easy and it can sound like ignoring reality. Wishful thinking maybe? I know when we’re really having a hard time the last thing we want to do is think “positively” …but it truly can change your entire mindset and approach to a situation.

Some days are harder than others, as well all know. Sometimes the thought may be as simple as “I have food and shelter over my head. I’m lucky.” A shift this simple can remind us of what we do have, rather than what we don’t or what we have to do. I find that simple changes give me perspective on everything good in my life and allows me to pour out gratitude and show up daily.

A bad date? Still no boyfriend? Feeling behind in life? How lucky am I to not have to go to someone else’s tacky family dinners. How lucky am I to not have to worry about a partner right now. To do my own thing!

Even in the hard moments, there’s always a sliver of luck, love, or freedom—sometimes it’s just about noticing it. For people who struggle with lack of control, this tool can be helpful in feeling in charge of our narrative as well.

💡 Alternative ways to reframe a thought:

·       “This is hard, but what is it trying to teach me?”

·       “How do I show up for myself in times of pain and struggle?”

·       “How lucky am I to…”

Reframing doesn’t make life perfect. But it can shift the way we move through it—helping us show up more fully, more present, and from a place of gratitude.

Now it’s your turn! Here’s your challenge...How can you work this reframe seamlessly into your own life? What’s one thought you can reframe today to be positive?

XO,

Charty