Leaving my Job after 5 Months: A Life-Changing Decision

I'm leaving my new job after 5 months. Yes. You read that correctly. It feels so freeing to finally put it out there. This was not an easy decision, but I know what’s personal is universal, so I wanted to share this journey. Buckle up, here's the one everyone's been waiting for.

Let’s rewind. I worked for numerous years at an agency I loved. My coworkers were like family, I loved my work, and I loved my work/life balance. However, in the beginning of 2024, it was time for something new in my career. I wanted to move out of the in-home therapy world to do something that aligned with my future goals. I interviewed for a few months, and I got a job at Boston Children’s Hospital in their social work department. It was a big switch for me, and especially nerve wracking going into a hospital setting. However, I felt this job would be a fresh start coming off of a lot of change this past summer. I went through emotions of feeling happy, scared, nervous, then excited. This was a new beginning in a Harvard teaching hospital. It felt like a dream come true!

I remember the first week in August. I was nursing a sprained ankle (don’t ask lol) and trying to get the hang of everything. Me? Waking up every day to go to an office job? Had hell frozen over? I got lost every day and my coworkers were different from what I was used to. I felt like the odd man out and was extremely lonely. (Don't worry, I finally won them over) This was a drastic change coming from a place I thrived off of social interaction with people I was close with. It was a quiet setting, eating lunch at a desk, and no flexibility.

The transition was extremely difficult. It was hard to rework my life and my daily routine to fit this new role, and I found myself feeling a loss of control. I had to change everything and get accustomed to this, and it was hard holding both narratives. I was excited but also terrified of this new life. Little by little I warmed up to the environment and got my footing. Which consists of eating candy in the break room and making silly remarks—in classic Charlotte fashion.

While I got comfortable, I slowly realized the work, or lack of work, was astounding. This job versus the one advertised to me, was nothing like I had planned. There was enough down time to prepare for doomsday, as all I did was sit around waiting for a behavioral patient or crisis in the hospital. I would sit for 8.5 hours daily reading (smut), writing, or searching absurd things on the internet (sorry!) trying to pass the time. There was no work to do. I fell into a rut feeling like I lacked purpose, lost my shine, and craved the client contact. I missed work! I missed what fills my soul and brings me happiness—doing my job. I had just gotten my LICSW less than a year ago, and I felt it was going to waste.

In September I started realizing this job wasn’t a good fit for me but felt rooted in my dedication to stay. I wanted to prove to everyone that I wasn’t a quitter, that I stick to commitments I make. But God, it was such a lonely position to be in. It was isolating and I felt trapped. I would sit all day (convincing myself I had blood clots) and come home to be exhausted and alone. I felt I wasn’t fitting in with this new role or culture and I struggled to find purpose in the work, even when there was some to be done.

From this place of loneliness, craving purpose, and missing that passion of helping others, I created this blog. My baby! The blog quickly became my purpose for those lonely months at this job, hoping to connect with others through it. I did an incredible job of this, and it changed my life. It’s brought so many connections, been so therapeutic for me to write again, and has made a difference in others’ lives. It fills my soul. I’ve gotten thousands of hits on my website and endless messages telling me how much it means to others. My blog was the most amazing gift to come out of this transition and struggle.

As weeks continued to go by in the office with nothing to do, and I became a shell of myself. I heard about friend’s excitement and passion for their jobs, and I was so envious. Envious of their success and happiness, and embarrassed that I took a job that didn’t serve me. When others asked about my new role, I lied and said everything was ‘wonderful.’ I felt like a massive loser. There I was months ago, saying I took a job that would be aligned with my growth and career, meanwhile I hadn’t done a single thing. I was ashamed of the doing nothing all day. And how do you tell people that? I dug deep to put energy into my blog, into content for socials, and found my spark where I could. But it wasn’t enough. It was never going to be enough.

Finally in October, I knew I had to make a change. I couldn’t do it anymore. The initial decision to interview and accept that I couldn’t stay here was difficult. I felt like a failure, a loser, and immature. I didn’t want to be the person who bounces between jobs. Funny enough, the first thought I had when I went on a job interview was “what will others say about this decision?” “What will they think of me?” Yup. I said that. The girl who preaches that we shouldn’t care what others think. I was scared out of my mind that someone would comment on my decision. What if someone furthered my fear that this was the wrong decision? I did not want people to think I was a quitter—but it wasn’t that kind of situation. I had to get over that fear that people would judge a decision that I made for myself.

I gaslit myself for months, forcing myself to stay, that it’s not ‘that bad’, and that I could manage it for a year or so. I told myself I needed to stay because what will people think about me? What will they say if they knew I was so excited for a job I’m leaving in less than 6 months? I felt guilty that I was leaving this opportunity. I cried all the time; I felt so alone. I felt like I couldn’t leave, but I knew there had to be a better opportunity waiting for me. I was coming to terms with letting go of the job and direction I thought my life was heading in.

You know that quote? “You must give up the life you had planned, in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” (Joseph Campbell) I said that in my head for so many weeks on end. I knew I had to move forward with my job search, so I continued different job interviews. Eventually, I found something else much more aligned with my goals and my role as a clinician. My new position is in a pediatric practice, where I will meet clients consistently, and I am over the moon. It has me feeling so excited and hopeful...almost like it's meant to be.

I had meaningful conversations with the head of the social work department, who laid my fears around burning a bridge to rest. I respect Boston Children's Hospital so much, but this position and environment just wasn't for me. This woman was so kind and understanding, it made me more confident in this decision. I felt I could start to move forward, and I put in my resignation letter.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was the right decision. A job where I see clients and am able to work my social work muscle is where I thrive. It’s not just a job for me—it makes me feel alive. It fills my soul and ignites my spark. The spark that makes me…well me! That is why I needed to let go and resign from this position. And yes, people are going to talk. Let them. It's my journey, my life, and I am in the driver's seat. This decision has truly empowered me and made me rethink everything about career paths and choosing myself.

I want to end with a few words dedicated to the Charlotte in September who was so fearful (and anyone else struggling with something similar)—you only have so many hours on this Earth. So many minutes left to make a difference and fuel that fire within your soul. Who gives a f*** (sorry mom) what others think? YOU are living your life. And you can’t live your life or serve others in an office doing nothing. You want it? Go out and get it baby. I am so proud of you.

Here is to new beginnings, a new path, and the ability to pivot. The ability to choose myself.

*Thank you to my best friends, pals, workout community, and family who have listened to me cry, vent, reflect, while supporting me the past 4 months. I love you and I can’t wait to make you proud.

Love,

Charty x

PS- the blog isn’t going anywhere! Follow the Instagram account made for it, @chateau.charty