Time Traveled: A Friendship Reunion and a Mirror to My Growth

I had a killer time recently celebrating my college best friend’s fiancé’s bridal shower in Albany. Whew! That’s a mouthful! It was such a special day filled with love for Caroline and Jack…I am so excited for their wedding.

The weekend also came with an unexpected text of an old friend reaching out. We had a slight break in our friendship...like a 5 year one. We hadn’t spoken in half a decade due to a falling out that looking back now could’ve been handled so differently.

I was surprised to hear from him, and curious as to what would come about with it. I knew I was going to respond. I don’t hold a grudge, and I knew I had to follow my heart.

I don’t want to have regrets. Ever since Hurricane Ian, my dad’s health, and losing people whether to death or ending relationships; I want to live. I want to make sure I live every moment to the fullest.

We got breakfast and it felt like no time had passed. Reunited so many years later, with only a few wrinkles!

It felt so good to hug him again, speak our truths, and be honest about everything. This reunion felt a lot like therapy. I told I missed him; he told me he was sorry. I told him how he hurt me; he told me how much he had been dealing with. God we were so young. We had no idea how to have a hard conversation and just walked away.

So many of us struggle to have that hard conversation. To be honest, to voice what hurt us and what we need.

Over bagels, we racked our brains trying to think of what’s happened the past five years and what’s new with our lives. I told him about my blog, my career journey, and my family. I told him about my heartbreaks, my mistakes, and my different outlook on life now. Turns out time, therapy, and lattes heal.

Our conversation made me realize how much growth we've had. I realized how much I’ve changed since 2019. I don’t take things personally anymore, and I don’t place my worth in external validation. I’m so different five years later, and I’m so proud of the work I’ve done.

He and I have changed a lot. But we've also stayed the same in so many beautiful ways. This gave me the chance to reflect on the last 5 years. Do I like who I’ve become? Am I proud of who I am?

Have I lived without regrets?

All this to say that sometimes the most special thing you can do is follow your gut and keep doing the work. It’s amazing what 5 years’ time can do and how it can change you. I am so happy to have him back. I woke up with a smile on my face after the weekend despite being wildly hungover still!

If I leave you with nothing else- let it be this. Have the hard conversation. Reach out. Life is too damn short. And stop living with regrets! Do what you need to do and say exactly what you need to.

-Charty

Author's Note: Obviously there are some relationships that don't need to be dug into again. Whether this be a toxic relationship, domestic violence, or simply no need to repeat history. Use your judgement and decide what's best for you. Decide if It makes sense for your situation or if it'll bring you peace.